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Do we have to live in high school after we get our “grown up” jobs?

I know the last few blogs have been about my DH’s ex wife.  She has been blocked on my phone and his too (but he doesn’t know).  It has been so peaceful and the kids are texting through their own phones paid for by his ex (jokes on her).  I made up my mind, I will never be around her again because she is just a waste of my time.poop[

I am a nurse practitioner of family medicine.  I work in a small frontier clinic in Arizona. I have nurses that work with me.  I also have an excellent medical assistant, but my  assistant and I butt heads with this nurse that is a know it all.  Nurse KIA (know it all) makes our lives miserable.  She demands tasks to be completed such as moving her office by my awesome assistant.  Kia had the audacity to question my competency at the clinic.  She did this in front of the patient.  She would not allow me to perform an ultrasound on a patient’s arm to check .

I was humiliated when she refused to tell me where the ultrasound machine but the higher ups trumped her and I was able to perform the procedure.  Ugh now the bad part, we have a new boss and she is smoozing him well.  She is playing the “no one listens to me card”.  Big UGH!. He is falling for it!  In fact, he said BOTH of us were in the right and we were BOTH advocating (in regards to the ultrasound situation); ME for the PATIENT and her for the clinic because she KNEW (assumed) that I did not know how to use the ultrasound machine.  I thought the PATIENT trumped the CLINIC, the patients should always be #1!!!!

Now she is trying to turn others against me which is kind of HIGH SCHOOL but funny thing about is that our co-workers have seen her malicious ways and have remained neutral in this environment.  This is how is should be.  Of course, our boss is feeding into her melodrama.  I asked myself again, “Is this high school again@!”

 

 

Calm of the storm

I am just waiting for her to throw a bomb at us again.  I am very much tired of this.  This blog is the reason I have not snapped at my husband.  I was just appalled at her asking my hubby for money for our middle son’s football camp.  Yet she would pay in FULL for the oldest child’s football gear.  She gives him a DAY to decide on this.  He told her the middle son CAN do this but SHE has to pay and transport the child.  Of course she LIES and tells our son that my hubby said no.  It is enough of these lies.   I pray for her.  I really do.  Seems kind of weird but for our sons’ sakes.  She always likes to make my hubby look bad.  It is just too much at times.  I wish we didn’t have to even exchange the kids with her. I would rather have a police officer do it because when she talks to us, there is always another motive. Once again she looks like she is the hero to her son with a helping of a big FAT lie.

2 steps forward 11 steps back

Today I helped my youngest stepson with a project.  It came out ok for a last minute project he forgot to tell us about.  We tried calling her to ask more about the project but she didn’t answer the phone.   I wish he would have told us sooner, we could have done much better.  We took, well I took about 2 days to complete.  I dropped off the kids and SHOCK the birth mom said thanks!  Ok, wow maybe we can coexist.

Ha!  You thought we could coexist.  I was so wrong.  She was upset because we didn’t help him with his project report.  Wow, we didn’t know that was due too.  My step son admitted he “forgot” to tell us.  Another blow, we bought him a Jitterbug phone for Christmas and SHE bought him a BETTER phone.  Ugh another blow.

Then BOOM….. oh yeah, I am claiming (our youngest) him on taxes, she informs my hubby.  My hubby is up to date on his child support.  I am just overwhelmed and over it.  I just thought wow what a jerk,  I am so sick of this.  Both my hubby and I cannot wait until we NEVER have to communicate with her again.  We are sick of this.  Always an agenda.

Do not be friends with a narcissist, it only causes you stress

I have always been the type of person to give a person the benefit of the doubt.  My hubby’s ex was alway painted as this manipulative and evil person. I believe in good in everyone until she proved my theory wrong.

I started off as saying hello and trying to negotiate terms in regards to the children with my hubby.  Her lover is a chatty bug which I LOVE but I found out just as much of a manipulator as the she is.  We would talk on the phone and exchange “the loveless and selfless act of being step-moms”.  It was fine until she and the his ex wife started telling me about the ex wife and my husband’s “supposed domestic violence”.  My relationship was new shy of a year old and I was thinking, “WTF did I get myself into?!”

I had my poor hubby take a lie detector test and this caused stress on our relationship and he passed with flying colors.  Then we were accused by the ex wife and her lover of calling child protective services which we didn’t do we that it was part of the pending “custody battle.”  Her lover called me a bunch of names and was telling me to never contact her again.  I did block her and that was the BEST thing I could have done.  It took a few months to recover from the ex wife’s stories and manipulative but we grew stronger as a couple.  We decided it will always be “us” and we will never keep anything or any secrets or skeletons from each other unless we honestly don’t remember.

Dr. Stepmom…when it is convenient…

I seen my husband battle his ex-wife in court and was proud of him for his fight.  His ex wife while she thinks that she is smart in her own mind, she makes a lot of errors.  She drives a BMW on a Ford Focus budget; so in other words uses the funds for the children; on her car which is only a 3 series but way beyond her budget.

Her children, our children are very tall and can barely fit in this car; yet she doesn’t care as long as she has a cool car.  She forces her oldest  child to believe she is this heroin by brainwashing him with false stories on how she and her children ended up in this state so far away from family. The truth is she left her children for 2 years for her lover about 7 years ago and forced my husband to move here because she kidnapped the youngest kid and my hubby couldn’t live without any of his kids.  Today, she still lies to the kids and tell them my hubby kept the kids away from her when in fact the oldest still remembers her leaving in her truck.

So what about Dr stepmom?  I am in family medicine and I am a clinician and have been in medicine for over 12 years.  I have treated our children when she allows me to and stiffs us with unnecessary medical bills that I could have treat our children in a clean and safe environment instead she lurks on strangers to treat our children.  Our youngest has eczema which I know is allergy driven and the truth of the matter is this ex-wife of his does not allow us to take him to this appointment.

Why, you wonder, well it is because her lover is a smoker.  The youngest breaks out a lot and one of his trigger is secondhand smoke and her lover’s truck smells like an asstray with fishy odor tinge.  How do we know this?  We have witnessed it when the children are dropped off by her lover and the sad fact is she smokes with the children in her truck.  This is why on our weekend; we could not take our youngest to the doctor because she knew that he is allergic to SMOKING.

It is so hard to be so quiet when I know that I would care for the kids even more.  We have come to realize that she is in it to make herself feel better about herself and “she knows best.”  It is hard to sit back and watch our children pay the price of a smoker’s habit.  Just makes me upset.